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Beautiesinbirthdaysuits W Birthday En Geography Beauties In Birthday Suits 道菲尔太太 Mrs. Doubtfire 英文剧本_英文电影剧本 - 130影评网

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is compensating for smaller genitals.

But not in your case, cos I see that you're a strapping lad, aren't ya?

- It was lovely to meet you. - You too, dear.

- Mrs Doubtfire, may I speak with you? - Ooh, certainly, dear.

Could you stay a few extra hours this evening?

Stu. That's more of a thick soup than a name, really.

It's a name. It's short for Stuart.

- Is it? - Yes. He's a client. And a friend.

- He was a friend. He is a friend. - What is he?

- I don't know what's happening. - What is it, dear?

- Isn't he fabulous? - Kind of, dear.

If you like that handsome, rugged type.

But personally I prefer short, furry and funny.

He just wants to go out and have a drink.

- I think that's pretty harmless. Don't you? - Absolutely not, dear.

- They always have other intentions. - This is business, mostly.

I'll just sip club soda and we'll go over wallpaper samples.

Dear Miranda. Wake up and smell the coffee, dear.

Can't you see the lust in that man's eyes?

It's too soon, dear. Really.

You've got to give your divorce time.

Let your sheets cool down before you bring someone else into the bed. All right?

Mrs Doubtfire, may I ask you a question?

Certainly, dear.

How long after Mr Doubtfire passed away...

Winston.

...did you feel any desire...

Never.

Never again.

Once the father of your children is out of the picture,

the only solution is total and lifelong celibacy.

- Celibacy? - Yes.

And if you violate that, heaven forgive ya.

Good luck.

Thank you.

"Preponderance."

Bravo. "Discriminate."

Oh, that's very good. Will you excuse me, dear? Call of nature.

Check those. I'll be right back.

- Oh, God. - Oh, God!

- Oh, my God! - Chris! Wait!

Lydia! We gotta call the cops!

- We gotta dial 911 now! - Why?

Mrs Doubtfire. He's a she!

What?!

- He's half man, half woman! - What?!

- All right, everyone. Calm down. - Freeze! Or you're gonna get it!

- In the balls! - Yeah!

- She's got 'em? - She's got everything.

All right. Listen to me.

I'm not... who you think I am.

- No shit! - Watch your mouth, young man!

Oh, my God.

- Dad? - Yeah.

- Dad? - Yeah, honey.

You don't really like wearin' that stuff, do you?

Well, some of it's comfortable... No!

It's a pain in the padded ass. This is not a way of life. It's just ajob.

I don't go to old-lady bars or anything like that after work.

It's the only way I could see you guys every day.

- Who did this? - Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack.

It's really you in there.

Yeah.

It's just a mask. And this is a body suit. I didn't have any operations or anything.

- It's good. - Yeah.

Hi.

- Sorry I scared you. Come here, Chris. - No. No, it's OK.

I get it. I just... don't wanna hug you or anything.

- Notjust yet. - That's cool. It's a guy thing.

Yeah.

Well, now that you know, you can't tell Mom, OK?

Cos if she finds out, I'll only be able to see you through plate glass. OK?

And we can't tell Nattie, cos she'll blow my cover.

So you have to promise me, it's just us. All right?

- You promise? - Yeah.

It's OK.

All right? It's our little secret.

Most of the dinosaurs were herbivorous.

But this Tyrannosaurus rex

is a carnivore.

The reptile-like Saurischia

and the bird-like

Ornithischia.

Now, we're going to go

where no human being has ever been.

Oh, no.

Which one's the dinosaur?

- The one in the middle, I think. - Nah, you're wrong. They're all extinct.

I can't believe they're still subjecting kids to this. This is insane.

There should be a disclaimer: Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show.

It's incredible.

This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid. It's amazing.

He has the warmth of a snow pea. Makes Mr Rogers look like Mick Jagger. It's insane.

What kind of idiot kept this guy on the air for 25 years?

Me.

You?

Jonathan Lundy.

Jonathan Lundy, General Manager, owner?

Daniel Hillard, former employee.

Maybe.

That's funny.

I don't mean to criticize. I just...

- Sometimes I have... - Criticize all you want. Show's terrible.

I'm gonna cancel it. It's pullin' down the whole afternoon schedule. It's gone.

You know what you gotta do?

Start from scratch. Give it... maybe a musical number.

- A little Tyrannosaurus rex comes out... - Hillard, get your ass to the truck.

That shipment's gotta make a six o'clock flight to LA.

Tone, this is Mr Lundy.

- He knows who I am. - Yeah.

Did you ever wish that you could freeze-frame a single moment in your day,

look at it and say "This is not my life"?

Miranda. What are you home early for, dear?

I had an appointment. Oh, thank you!

With the court liaison. Mrs Sellner.

- I can't believe it. - What, dear?

She says Daniel has some woman living with him pretending to be his sister!

- I told her he doesn't even have a sister. - Mrs Sellner's probably mistaken.

She's a social worker, dear. Really!

And besides, how could he replace you?

And so quickly. Really!

She's supposed to be older and very unattractive.

Really?

Mrs Doubtfire.

- Yes? - Did you and Mr Doubtfire ever...

- You must have had your share of problems. - Oh, of course, dear. What marriage doesn't?

But I always say: The bad times fade away,

and the good ones adhere themselves to your memory.

- Yes. Excuse me. - That's all right.

As I hold this cold meat, I'm reminded of Winston. God rest his soul.

When did he... pass on?

Eight years ago, dear. This November.

What happened?

- He was quite fond of the drink. - Ah.

- It was the drink that killed him. - How awful.

- He was an alcoholic? - No. He was hit by a Guinness truck.

So it was quite literally the drink that killed him.

- How tragic! - Yes.

Oh, but he was a good man, though, really.

A sainted man.

And despite his mountains of faults, dear,

I always say: A flawed husband is better than none at all.

- Who needs a husband when I've got you? - Surely you don't mean that, dear?

- Well... - Oh, that's so sweet!

You can't imagine what it was like being married to Daniel.

Tell me, dear. What was so horrible about this man you lived with for 14 years?

Well, at first, nothing.

He was so... romantic.

- So passionate. - Really?

He sounds like an absolute stud, dear.

I hope you don't mind me being a tad rude, but...

How was he... you know... on a scale of 1 to 10?

Oh, well. That part was always...

OK.

Just OK?

He was probably a Casanova compared to poor old Winston.

- What was the matter with Winston? - Oh, dear.

Winston's idea of foreplay was "Effie, brace yourself."

It was Daniel's spontaneity and energy I fell in love with.

Really?

Everyone else I knew was so organized, so scheduled.

Like me, I guess.

But Daniel was so wonderfully different. And funny. He could always make me laugh.

I always say: The key to a solid marriage is laughter.

But after a few years, everything just stopped being funny.

- Why? - I was working all the time.

And he was always between jobs. I hardly ever got to see the kids.

If I got home early to be with them, something would go wrong.

The house would be wrecked and I'd have to clean it up.

He never knew, but so many nights I just... cried myself to sleep.

Really?

The truth is, I didn't like who I was when I was with him.

I would turn into this horrible person.

I didn't want my kids growing up with a mother like that.

When I'm not with Daniel, I'm better.

And... I'm sure he's better when he's not with me.

Well, you never...

I mean... Did you ever say anything to him, dear?

Daniel never liked to talk about anything serious.

I used to think Daniel could do anything. Except be serious.

But then, I was serious enough for everybody.

- This is great! - Isn't this posh!

I'll bet it's very exclusive. Probably need a credit reference just to get in the pool.

- Amazing! - Oh, Nattie.

Not a single body that exists in nature. Look at that.

- Lydie... - There's Stu!

Where? Oh. On the board.

Oh, isn't he a stunning piece of work?

Look, Nattie. That's called liposuction.

I hope he had protection, hitting the water at that speed.

- Let's go say hi. - Let's do, please.

- That's amazing. - Stunning.

- Hello! You look lovely! - Hi.

Oh, guys, I'm so glad you could make it.

- By the looks of you, that water's so cold! - Yes, well...

Your tummy looks different from my daddy's.

Oh, Nattie! Not everyone has their own personal trainer.

- Got your swimsuits? Wanna go for a dip? - That'd be great!

- Good! How about you, Mrs Doubtfire? - Oh, you wicked, wicked man!

Isn't there enough flesh here for you to feast your eyes on?

- Come, Mrs Doubtfire. Don't be bashful. - No, dear. They've outlawed whaling.

- We'd be re-enacting the Titanic. - Come on, Mrs Doubtfire.

Oh, no. Just go. Leave me here. I'll just sit in the sun and crisp.

You can't get heatstroke twice in the same year.

OK. Well, let's go, kids. Swim time.

- Go, dear. I'll be fine. - Your day's on me, Mrs Doubtfire.

- Anything you need, put it on my tab. - Thank you, dear.

Touch me again and I'll drown you, you bastard.

I'll just sit here and watch you move in on my family.

Oh, God. What am I doing here? This is beyond obsession.

- Is everything all right, ma'am? - Fan-bloody-tastic.

- Can I have another? - Sure.

Great.

Soda with a lime, please.

- It's on me. - No, thanks.

Four iced teas, Todd.

So, whose rugrats?

Miranda Hillard's.

- Miranda Hillard? - The woman I'm seeing.

No kidding? You? The guy who's never having kids?

Won't have anything to do with kids? You won't even date a woman with kids.

People change, Ron.

I'm pushing 40. I don't want to spend the rest of my life by myself.

She's got an awful lot of baggage. Three kids.

Three terrific kids, and I'm crazy about them. Especially little Natalie. Look at her.

She's a sweetie pie.

God knows they need a stable father figure in their life right now.

- What about their real father? - What can I say? The guy's a loser. I'll see ya.

Loser? Oh, yeah?

Oh, sir!

I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff. Did you not tip them?

Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting.

I'll get them, sir. Don't worry.

Good waste ofjuice.

Loser.

What are you lookin' at?

Hi, boys and girls.

Today we'll be talking about dinosaurs.

It's A Dinosaurus Line!

And please welcome... the king!

It's a dinner show. Hi! Where you from? I'm gonna make you lunch.

Thank you very much. Thank you! All right!

Ladies and gentlemen, put your claws together!

Please welcome... James Browntosaurus!

I eat wood

It tastes good

No meat, big feet

I eat wood

Oh, I got to help myself! Can't go on! I'm goin' extinct!

Oh, thank you, James. But right now... it's time for the Raptor Rap!

I'm a raptor, doin' what I can

Gonna eat everything till the appearance of man

Yo, yo, see me, I'm livin' below the soil

I'll be back but I'm comin' as oil

Very impressive, Mr Hillard!

- I didn't know anybody was watching. - I was watching. That's funny stuff.

- Well, thanks. - I think kids'd like it.

- They'd be entertained and get information. - That's kinda my theory.

You don't have to play down to 'em, just play to 'em.

- Listen, I'd like to hear more of your ideas. - My ideas?

- How about a dinner meeting? - Wow. OK.

Next Friday. Bridges Restaurant. Seven o'clock sharp.

I'll be there.

Take five.

Take five million. You're dead.

We've just had our first home-cooked meal. I'm domestic now, huh?

- This is terrific, Dad. - You want more spaghetti?

- No, I'm stuffed. - Garlic bread? I made it myself.

Well, I didn't make it myself. I cooked it. I sliced it.

It's OK, Dad. Thanks.

The place looks great. The food's terrific.

I'm really proud of you.

Yeah. Me, too.

Me, too.

I'll be right back.

- Thank you for knocking. - Yeah.

Look at this!

I see you got someone to clean for you.

No.

- Hi, guys. - Hi, Mom.