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I've been following your career these past couple of years.
A tufted sofa, a Flemish tapestry, a brass-bound Regency-style table...
I'd love to get reacquainted. Catch up.
Mantel clocks.
Fringed, upholstered chairs, heavy drapes.
Can we talk? Over dinner, maybe?
Stuart, thank you. I...
I'm at the beginning of a divorce.
It just didn't work out.
- Oh, Miranda, I'm sorry. - You don't have to say that.
No, really. I mean, I never held any grudges or anything. I just...
Well, I always hoped you'd find happiness.
Oh, God, that's so nice.
I was just worried my coming in here might scare you off the project.
No, no. Of course not. I...
I'm a professional. I'm...
I was flattered that you thought of me after all these years and everything.
Yeah, everything.
Well... Ancient history.
Yeah.
I'm late. I've got a meeting over at the bank.
Can we talk maybe later in the week?
- Sure. - Good.
It's good to see you again.
Good, huh?
I know the place doesn't look like much now, but...
It'll be OK. How do you like it?
- Nice. - It's OK.
Detestable.
Hey, just give me some time.
I'm not too comfortable with this new lifestyle.
Neither are we.
I know it's hard, sweetie.
Can't you just tell Mom you're sorry?
Wish I could.
You know, grown-up problems...
They're a little more complicated, Nattie.
How is the old battle-axe?
- Your mom. - She's fine.
Oh. I'm glad to hear that.
I'd hate to think that she came down with amoebic dysentery or piles.
What's amoebic dysentery?
It's an infection in your tummy where you get diarrhoea for ever.
- Diarrhoea for ever? - And your body dries up and you die.
- You die? - You don't have to be so graphic with her.
- I read about it in a science book. - Why would you want Mommy to die?
Oh, honey, I don't want Mommy to die.
Then why did you say that?
Look, Dad, you're not trying very hard.
We only get to come here once a week. That's not very much.
You're right. I'm sorry. I'll try harder.
Nattie, I'll think good thoughts, OK?
- About Mommy? - I'll try. I really will.
- And call her a princess. - Oh, yes.
And right now I feel like a toad.
Daddy's a toad.
- That's Mom. - Can't be. She's an hour early.
Come on, Nattie, we gotta go.
No, no! Come on, sit down.
Sit down!
You don't have to run off when she honks the horn.
Come on, you're on my time now.
You're my goddamn kids, too!
Come on.
Hi.
Oh, Daniel... Charming.
Thank you, Miranda. I was going for a refugee motif.
Fleeing-my-homeland kind of thing.
But look at you!
This lovely Dances With Wolves motif. What's your Indian name: Shops With A Fist?
- Are my children ready yet? - No, our children are not ready yet...
...because you are an hour early and you were late dropping them off.
Daniel, I don't have time for this. I have to drop something off at the newspaper office.
Newspaper? Are you taking out one of those personal ads?
"DWF seeks WWM with BMW, into light B&D"?
I'm placing an ad for a housekeeper.
Housekeeper? Why do you need a housekeeper?
I need someone to be there when the children get home from school, to clean, start dinner...
- How much are you gonna pay? - $300 a week. Is that all right?
May I see the ad?
- I have a right as their father. Please? - All right. Anything else you wanna see?
- Are you offering? - Not any more.
What's the change?
- Are you guys all right? - Yeah, Mommy. We're fine.
Miranda, why not let me take care of the kids?
I'll pick 'em up after school, be with them, then drop them off at your house after work.
- That'd be great! - Please!
- Look. The kids love it. - Mommy, please!
I'll think about it.
We're his goddamn kids, too.
Kids say the darndest things.
Thank you. Any other choice phrases you'd like to teach our five-year-old, Daniel?
Come on, everybody get their coats.
- Put them on and let's get out of here. - OK, Mom.
I would say go to the bathroom before we go, but I don't think that's a good idea.
Don't forget anything. I don't wanna come back.
Come on, let's go.
- See you Saturday. - Say goodbye to your father.
Goodbye, Daddy.
- Here's your ad. - I'll get my purse.
Yeah, you'd better.
Hello. Are you calling in response to the ad?
- Who was your previous employer? - I was in a band. Severe Tyre Damage.
- In a band? - I just wanna know one thing.
Are your kids well-behaved, or do they need, like, a few light slams every now and then?
- I'll have to get back to you. - Wow!
Ja, my name is llsa Himmelman. I want to know how many children do you have?
- I have two girls and a boy. - Oh, a boy!
I don't work with the males cos I used to be one.
Yikes.
Hello.
Leyla, get back in your cell! Don't make me get the hose!
Hello?
I am job.
- Do you speak English? - I am job.
I'm sorry. The position has been filled.
Oh, what a nightmare!
Let's go in for the kill.
Hello?
I'm calling in regards to the ad I read in the paper.
Yes. Well, would you tell me a little bit about yourself?
Oh, certainly, dear.
For the past 15 years I've worked for the Smythe family of Elbourne, England.
That's Smythe, not Smith, dear.
And for them, I did housecleaning, cooking, and took care of their four glorious children.
I grew quite attached to them after 15 years, but they grew up, as children tend to.
Oh, but listen to me. I am going on when you should be telling me about your little ones.
- Well, I have two girls... - Oh, two precious gems.
No doubt the jewel of your eye.
- And one boy. - Oh, the little prince. How wonderful.
I must tell you, a little light cooking is required.
Oh, I don't mind that, dear. I'd love some heavy cooking.
But I do have one rule: They'll only eat good, nutritious food with me.
And if there's any dispute, it's either good, wholesome food or empty tummies.
That's my rule. I hope it's not too harsh for you, dear.
No!
Would you mind coming on an interview? Say, Monday night at 7.30?
- Oh, I'd love to, dear. - Wonderful.
I'm at 2640 Steiner Street.
Steiner. Oh, how lovely.
- Could you tell me your name? - My name?
I thought I gave it to you, dear.
No.
- Doubtfire. - I beg your pardon?
Doubtfire, dear. Mrs Doubtfire.
- Well, I look forward to meeting you. - Oh, lovely, dear. Me, too.
- Bye-bye. - Ta-ta.
Showtime.
- Daniel, hi. - Could you make me a woman?
Honey, I'm so happy!
- Oh, come here. - I knew you'd understand.
- Is this gonna hurt? - Don't whine. Just relax.
- Are you sure? - Just remember, pain is beauty.
OK, take a deep breath. Instant eye lift.
And the strings are under the wig.
- The man has five-o'clock shadow at 8.30am. - All right, we'll start with make-up.
- I'm not gonna wax. - Don't worry. We'll just lightly spackle.
- I feel like Gloria Swanson. - You look like her mother.
I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille.
OK, everyone. Let's pray.
I hope you are using Jungle Red. That is the color I love.
- Matches your lips. - God bless you.
I'm feeling fabulous because I met this beautiful Cuban.
Every night is like the Bay of Pigs.
I can't lie to you. It's beautiful with him.
I don't know. This would scare the children. Maybe this is too much for them.
I think we have to go to the next level.
Latex.
Oy, it was such a shandeh.
I should never buy gribbenes from a mohel. It's so chewy.
- No, I feel like Bubbee. This is not working. - Don't worry.
It's a work in progress and you're my brother. I will never let you be embarrassed.
- God bless you. - We'll have to do the entire face.
But look at this nice thing we have here.
It's not working. I need to go older.
Older? Like Shelley Winters older or Shirley MacLaine older?
- What's the difference? - Some Scotch tape and red hair dye.
- What about Joan Collins? - I don't think I have the strength.
But I have some plaster.
Are we close?
Any closer and you'd be Mom.
That's disgusting!
The most revolting thing I've ever seen.
Awesome.
What is this? Turn it off, will you?
Come on. I want you to meet this lady with me.
I want you to be polite to her, then... tell me what you think.
Everybody stand over here and help me decide what to do.
Hello. Mrs Hillard, I presume.
Yes. I'm Miranda Hillard.
Euphegenia Doubtfire.
Yes. Won't you please come in?
Thank you, dear.
- And these must be the cherubs. - Yes.
- This is Natalie. - Oh, hello, Natalie.
- Are you wearing bug spray? - Nattie!
It's quite all right, dear. No offense taken. I was a little liberal with the atomizer.
And at my age, it's like a good Stilton. Everything has its own aroma.
I admire that honesty, Nattie. That's a noble quality. Never lose that.
It often disappears with age or entering politics.
Look at that face. You remind me of Stuart Little,
one of the most honorable creatures in all of literature.
- Do you know that book, Stuart Little? - Yeah! It's one of my favorites.
Mine, too! Maybe I could read it to you - if I get the position.
- That would be wonderful. - And who is this strapping young lad?
- This is Chris. - Hello, Christopher.
Hello.
Jeez, you're big for a lady. You could play for the 49ers.
Well, I was a fullback. But that's European football, dear.
- Soccer? - Yes. You play soccer, too?
- Yeah! - Oh, isn't that amazing?
Yes, I was captain of the women's team. We won three university championships.
Oh, but that was decades ago!
But I was more disciplined then. I always put my studies ahead of my athletics.
I'm sure you're the same and you've done all your homework already.
- Well, not exactly. - Really? Oh. That's a pity.
Young men who don't do their studies often miss out on more amusing activities.
- And who is this young lady? - This is Lydia.
Hello, Lydia.
This isn't fair, Mom. Why do we need a housekeeper anyway?
- This is all I need. - Why can't Dad do it?
Dear, I don't think it's appropriate to argue with your mother in front of a stranger.
I just don't see why we can't spend the extra time with Dad.
Maybe she's right, dear. Maybe their father would be a more appropriate person.
No, I don't think so.
It's not my fault, honey. If he would get ajob and a decent apartment...
- You see, he's the kind... - Excuse me, dear.
I'm sure you'd want the children to step out of the room
before you verbally bash their father. Hm?
If I did that, I might never see them again.
- I'm sorry. You're right. - No harm done.
- You're absolutely right. - I'm not a therapist. I just see what I see.
Why don't you guys go on upstairs? I'll be up in a minute.
- It's lovely to meet you. - Yeah, nice to meet you.
You too, Lydie.
- Oh, they're a spirited bunch. - Yes.
- Especially Lydie. She's got daggers for you. - I know.
- They're very upset with me right now. - Probably the divorce.
How did you know?
You can sense it, dear - the way she talks about her father.
I don't think he's in the Navy, the way she's saying she misses him. It's like he's nearby.
- Yes. - Oh, that's so sad.
- Would you care to have a cup of tea? - I'd love that. pForum Beautiesinbirthdaysuits P Beauties In Birthday Suits En Tours North America Beauties In Birthday Suits 道菲尔太太 Mrs. Doubtfire 英文剧本_英文电影剧本 - 130影评网 r m Beauties Slip Beauties In Birthday Suits tForum Beautiesinbirthdaysuits P Beauties In Birthday Suits En Tours North America Beauties In Birthday Suits 道菲尔太太 Mrs. Doubtfire 英文剧本_英文电影剧本 - 130影评网 t Beauties In Birthday Suits Beauties In Birthday Suits